the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
