worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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