i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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