the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
