ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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