You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize