your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
