i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
