I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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