I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
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HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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