Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
