Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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