i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so that wasnt chicken after all
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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