I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
