hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
