Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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