windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
