we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
