Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
