How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she looked like the before picture.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
