if only i could text you this smell
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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