Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
