Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
