I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
