Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
