clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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