i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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