Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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