This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
