the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
