If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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