I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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