I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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