He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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