Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
