We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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