if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I want her autograph on my taint
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
