So drunk its hurt
i don't like sucking hair
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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