I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
