Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
