i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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