If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
