I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize