Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
