Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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