It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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