do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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