It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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