This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
