i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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