got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
