i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
