A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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