shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
