You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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