Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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