i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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