in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
two words: eviction party
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
